Why you need to stop ‘phubbing’: checking email on a date or scrolling through your phone mid-conversation may be harming your relationships

Phubbing, or phone snubbing, is what you are doing when you ignore someone you are with and pay attention to your phone instead

It is an extremely common habit, but experts say it degrades relationships by making the phone appear more important than the person

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Phubbing, or phone snubbing, involves ignoring someone and paying attention to your phone instead. Photo: Getty Images

Published: 7:15pm, 27 Mar 2022

Do you find yourself instinctively scrolling through your phone in the middle of a conversation? Or checking your email during a film date? It’s called “phubbing”: the impolite habit of ignoring those in front of you in favour of your phone.

A portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing,” phubbing is often instinctive and unintentional. Many people do it to stay connected with others, whether it’s through social media, texting or emailing, but it can have the opposite effect on those closest to you.

“Most people don’t pick up their phones and say, ‘Because you’re talking, I’m just going to go on my phone,’” says US-based Shamyra Howard, a certified sex therapist. “People are really connected to their mobiles nowadays, and we inadvertently and mindlessly scroll through them without even realising it, which can be annoying to those around us.”

Although it usually isn’t malicious, phubbing can have serious repercussions when it comes to your relationships. A recent study found that phubbing has become increasingly prevalent during the coronavirus pandemic and can “deteriorate interpersonal relationships”.

Certified sex therapist Shamyra Howard says most of us are guilty of phubbing without even realising we are doing it.

“It prioritises the device over the relationship, and it sends the message: ‘This is what’s more important to me’,” Howard says. “It’s implying that what’s on your phone is more important than the person sitting in front of you.”

Why you need to stop ‘phubbing’: checking email on a date or scrolling through your phone mid-conversation may be harming your relationships

Phubbing, or phone snubbing, is what you are doing when you ignore someone you are with and pay attention to your phone instead It is an extremely common habit, but experts say it degrades relationships by making the phone appear more important than the person

Phubbing, or phone snubbing, is what you are doing when you ignore someone you are with and pay attention to your phone instead

It is an extremely common habit, but experts say it degrades relationships by making the phone appear more important than the person