The 9 worst things to talk about on a first date
You know you should never bring up politics or religion, but for a better dating experience, here are some more topics to avoid
You’d think that by the time we’re 18, a legal adult with some experience under the belt, we’d know how to have a socially appropriate conversation with someone we just met.
But when it comes to first dates, and you throw nerves, sexual attraction, a quirky sense of humour and some questionable boundaries into the mix, there are endless recipes for how the conversation can go downhill – fast.
Some blunders, like politics, religion and marriage, you know to avoid. But even seemingly harmless topics can send up unintentional red flags. Want to actually see where things could go? Stop talking about these topics the first time you hang out.
1. Yourself, incessantly
While it’s good to be open and talk about your interests, you don’t want to take it to the extreme. New Yorker Lynn says that other than asking what she does for work with no follow-up questions, the guys she’s been out with recently all talked about themselves the entire time. “Needless to say, they didn’t give me much incentive to see them again.”
This is so common in dating, says Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, a California-based sociologist and sexologist. “While it’s great to share your passions, make sure you’re also taking the time to get to know their passions and interests, too.” And skip topics they have no interest in: according to a survey carried out by dating site Match.com, about 75 per cent of people believe having similar activities and interests is crucial to wanting a second date.
2. Your insecurities
“Are you sure I look OK?” “Can you tell I have a huge zit right here?” “I’m sure you like blondes more.” We all know confidence is one of the sexiest traits, so never put your date in the awkward position of having to incessantly bolster your self-esteem, warns Chicago-based relationship therapist, Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD., author of Quantum Love.
Not only does it shine a bright light on your (nonexistent) “flaws”, but it also forces them to constantly reassure you, she adds. Less than 10 per cent people in the Match survey were down with a date who has low self-confidence.
3. Work drama
“You might think that your co-worker cheating with your boss is hot gossip, but I promise it will bore your date to tears,” Berman says. “Gossip is almost always tiring after a while, but especially if you don’t know the people involved.”