Home and AwayVan Gaal’s boring United at the Theatre of Dreary Dreams

What’s the point of January? It’s the dullest month. Not much happens except winter’s plummet to darker depths and post-holiday ennui. Still, things could be worse. Just ask Manchester United season ticket holders. They’re suffering a tedium double-whammy: January, and the most boring football. A more salient question for Red Devil supporters is: what’s the point of Manchester United if the club’s trademark attacking style no longer exists? United fans have seen just 13 League goals scored by either side during home games under Louis Van Gaal this season – the worst record of any team in all four divisions. That’s five fewer than the next worst strike rate at Watford’s Vicarage Road, Blackburn’s Ewood Park, Sunderland’s Stadium of Light and Championship side Preston’s Deepdale. It took Alex Ferguson’s side just four games in his final 2012-13 season to reach 13 home goals; United failed to score at home only once during that campaign – and that was in May. The 11 goalless draws at Old Trafford have helped scrape just 30 points from 19 games – the lowest since the EPL began. It’s official, then. Old Trafford is home to the most boring football in England. The Theatre of dreary Dreams, more like. It’s a far more alluring story over at the Etihad, the home of United’s arch rivals Manchester City, who occupy the EPL’s goal-fest league along side Merseysiders Everton with 41. And City have scored the most goals at home – 29, while United languish at joint 82nd, on 10, alongside barren Leeds, Watford, Stoke and Bournemouth. Forget the point of January, then. A more salient question for Red Devil supporters is: what’s the point of Manchester United if the club’s trademark attacking style no longer exists? The American owners, the Glazers, must be asking what is the point of Louis van Gaal if his blend of bland, goal-free football is losing the club its hard won reputation for being winners and lowing the value of the brand. To underscore how far the once-mighty United have slumped, Monday’s 0-0 home draw against Chelsea was hailed an exemplary achievement by their manager, even though it was against a spent force of reigning champions battling to stay out of the relegation zone. The revered Old Trafford Way – defined by purposeful, attacking and entertaining football by gifted, free spirited players at the top of their game, and commanded by a wise, shrewd and respected manager – is drifting haplessly from greatness. Stability, unity and decisiveness has been replaced by the moribund, an unhappy dressing rooms and fading stars. Van Gaal survives game to game, a precarious state of affairs for any football club but an absolute embarrassment for an illustrious institution of United’s stature. Even a win at home against Swansea on Saturday will fail to silence the Dutchman’s critics. Victory might make for another stay of execution. But so entrenched is the depression, so lacking in belief in the team, the manager, the board and the owners, even an empathic victory will fail to infuse the Old Trafford faithful and far flung fans with New Year cheer and optimism. Van Gaal’s rigid style does not sit well with the club, the hallowed turf rejects it with every bounce of the ball. He merely survives because the crisis in the dressing room has been supplanted by panic and dithering among the owners, who appear to have no clue how to arrest the decline and save the brand Van Gaal’s rigid style does not sit well with the club, the hallowed turf rejects it with every bounce of the ball. He merely survives because the crisis in the dressing room has been supplanted by panic and dithering among the owners, who appear to have no clue how to arrest the decline and save the brand. Stick by Van Gaal? Sack him? Hire hothead Jose Mourinho? Give greenhorn Ryan Giggs a chance? “Don’t ask us,” is the message from the confused board. 18 months ago there would have been little to fear from a stall in United’s dominance after so long at the top. But the current lack of judgment over appointments during the last two seasons, the negative style of play, the £250 million (HK$2.85 billion) spent with little return, the absence of big European nights and EPL weekend titan clashes for dominance, the hesitancy – all risk United’s influence and awe disappearing completely. Out of Europe, out of the EPL top five (let alone the top four), out of big star signings and sparkling youth, another out-of-sorts manager, the situation is approaching the point where it will be out sight and of out of mind for the many United fans. Whether in Salford, Hong Kong or Malawi, they watch and follow United for inspiration. They want to support goal-scoring winners who play with immense pride, aggression and positivity, those attributes that mirror fans’ ambitions. United fans looking for inspiration while the owners make a decision would do well to tune into the Abax Stadium during boring January – the home of the most interesting football in England and league one side Peterborough FC (squad value: a shoestring), where 46 goals have been scored so far this season.

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}The usual dull January in England could not get any worse for fans of the Red Devils as the team struggle to score goals in the English Premier League

The usual dull January in England could not get any worse for fans of the Red Devils as the team struggle to score goals in the English Premier League