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Yuanyue Dang

Lunar New Year around the Chinese world is a time for renewal and expressions of hoped-for prosperity.
But for many women, it is also a time for pressure of the procreation kind.
And so it was for one Hong Kong woman who, among the family felicitations for prosperity and good fortune, was handed an ultimatum, have a baby or you are surplus to requirements.
Her experience is not uncommon, and when she posted a message about it on the popular social media platform LIHKG, the level of response proved it.

Her post on the night of January 25 read, “I overheard my boyfriend’s family talking today. They said that if I don’t give birth to a baby, they would call a taxi to let me go.”
Then, in seeming contradiction, she added: “They also said that my boyfriend and I don’t need to feel too much pressure to have a baby, that we can cross that bridge when we come to it, and even if the sky falls, they will hold it up for us.”
But what made her very angry was the way in which her boyfriend’s family objectified women.
She quoted one of them as telling her boyfriend: “There are a lot of ‘beautiful mainland goods’ available.”
The poster claims to be in her 30s, living at her boyfriend’s house and the relationship for almost seven years.

She said her boyfriend likes children but she is not so keen because being a parent comes with many responsibilities.
“I’m just starting my own life. I have little confidence that I can teach my child well. I don’t want to leave them to fend for themselves.” the poster said.
The woman also said she was somewhat angry with her boyfriend.
“I’m in a relationship with him, not with his family,” adding that she expects to break up with him and look for someone with similar values to her own.
The story has led to 21 pages filled with 500 conflicting comments on the social media platform.
One poster said the woman’s boyfriend’s family are asking for too much: “Sounds like a troubled family.”
Another said: “Break up now. Forcing you to have a baby when they know a man can’t get pregnant is clearly making things difficult for you.”
However, some online observers thought the baby demand was acceptable.
“You live in your boyfriend’s house. What else can you say?” Said one, with another adding: “Think about it differently. There’s nothing wrong with them having some demands placed upon you when you are living and eating in their home.”
One poster pleaded: “Please have kids with him. Don’t break up and come out to harm the next guy.”
In reply, the original poster said: “Huh? So it’s my fault for not having kids? Why would I hurt the next guy?”


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To have or have not: pressure to have a family often mounts around the Lunar New Year, and for one Hong Kong woman, it could spell the end of her relationship. Photo: Shutterstock.

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News

People & Culture

Social media posting by the woman in her 30s prompts a feisty online debate about the rights and wrongs of having a baby
It is common for family pressure to mount over the Lunar New Year period, but one woman has had enough


A feisty debate has broken out on Hong Kong social media after a woman posted an online message about a conversation she overheard among her boyfriend’s family in which they discussed the possibility of kicking her out of their family home unless she has a baby.


Trending in China

‘Phone her a taxi’: Hong Kong woman under pressure to have baby vows to ditch boyfriend after over-hearing his family tell him to let her go if she doesn’t

Social media posting by the woman in her 30s prompts a feisty online debate about the rights and wrongs of having a baby It is common for family pressure to mount over the Lunar New Year period, but one woman has had enough

Social media posting by the woman in her 30s prompts a feisty online debate about the rights and wrongs of having a baby

It is common for family pressure to mount over the Lunar New Year period, but one woman has had enough