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Emily Hung

Anna Lee*, a Hongkonger in her forties, first realised the profound impact of the violence she experienced as a child when she became a mother herself.
As she raised her two children, now aged seven and 10, she was alarmed to find her emotional reactions mirroring the volatility of her own childhood.
“I found the degree of my sudden outbursts of anger not proportionate to the things my children had done, and I struggle to manage the emotion,” she said.
“That reminded me of my father losing his temper and breaking the toys that my brother and I were fighting over into pieces when we were young … I still remember how shocked I was.”
Lee’s childhood was marked by a cycle of physical and verbal abuse from her parents, with discipline taking the form of being hit with hangers or belts.
“I have forgotten how bad the injury was, but the fear of making mistakes has stayed with me,” she said.
In Hong Kong, Lee’s experience is far from an isolated case. It reflects a deep-seated and widespread social problem.
A landmark study by the University of Hong Kong (HKU) and the NGO Harmony House found that more than 53 per cent of adults in the city have experienced at least one of 10 types of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) – a figure substantially higher than the global average of 38 per cent.
Notably, about one-third of survivors who have children reported repeating those violent or neglectful patterns of behaviour in their own parenting.
According to the study, the 10 types of ACEs included physical, sexual and emotional abuse, with the latter referring to non-physical acts that humiliate, frighten or insult a child.
Other types were emotional and physical neglect, witnessing violence, parental separation or divorce, and living with a substance abuser or someone with a mental illness, as well as having a family member in jail.
Experts have called for systemic and cultural change to help break this vicious cycle and prevent child abuse at its roots. Suggested measures include screening mechanisms to identify high-risk families early and a shift in how violent behaviour is understood across different professions.

For decades, Lee coped by suppressing her feelings, appearing to be a “happy child” to conceal her inner turmoil, as she believed being unhappy was forbidden.
Parenting, however, eventually prompted her to seek professional help, which helped her realise that her childhood trauma had fuelled a paralysing fear of failure and harsh self-blame.
Now, she is learning to recognise and manage her emotions as a mother.
“I feel much better when I apologise to my children and say I love them,” she said. “I don’t need my parents to apologise to me because I started to understand their limitations when I became a parent. We are doing just fine.”
Carrie Li Ka-wai, an assistant professor of social work at HKU who led the study on the prevalence of childhood adversity, attributed the high percentage to deeply ingrained patriarchal and Confucian values in Chinese societies.
“Those values often require children to be filial to their parents – who beat them out of love because if the children misbehave, that’s the fault of the parents – and for all family conflicts to be kept within the home,” she said.
“These ideologies impact both how parents discipline their children and how victims perceive the abuse.”
As a result, violence – especially psychological abuse and emotional neglect, which were the most common types of childhood adversity in Hong Kong – is often normalised and goes unchallenged as it is more “subtle and invisible” than physical abuse.
The study, conducted between 2023 and 2025, involved a phone survey of more than 800 adults and in-depth interviews with 16 ACE survivors.
It found that more than 20 per cent of survivors were at high risk of depression or anxiety, with some also reporting unexplained physical pain or illnesses.
Among survivors who are parents, about one-third said they had used violent disciplinary methods, including verbal abuse and physical punishment, on their children.
Li said it was crucial to build early detection and intervention mechanisms, such as giving new parents questionnaires when they take their infants to maternal and child health centres for check-ups.

Most importantly, she said, was the need to challenge traditional values and change the toxic culture contributing to such suffering.
Harmony House, an NGO that supports victims of domestic violence, has completed a three-year special project that helped 101 ACE survivors, supported by private funding.
Max Lau Ka-ho, a registered counselling psychologist at the NGO, called for a paradigm shift in understanding violence – that child abuse does not necessarily stem from “moral failure” but might instead be a survival response.
“In Chinese culture, it’s common to attribute any misbehaviour to the moral failure of individuals. For example, people always thought children cried because they were naughty, adults lost their temper because they have an irritable personality or simply because they are morally defective,” he said.
“But a trauma-informed perspective teaches us that those behaviours are likely a result of adverse experiences during their development. Such an understanding could help remove the labels and even foster an environment more conducive to recovery and learning.”
Lau stressed that many misconceptions surrounding trauma recovery – such as the belief that coming to terms with childhood trauma must take a lifetime and great expense – were not necessarily true.
He explained that the human brain, even among those who had perpetrated or endured abuse, could be rewired within a safe, accepting environment.
By being heard and accepted, survivors can unlearn the “survival mode” triggered by chronic stress. This process allows them to shift from reactive emotional responses to a “value-driven” life, regaining the agency to live according to their chosen values.
From their experience, progress can be visible after just a few intensive counselling sessions or within six months.
“If frontliners like teachers and nurses have an awareness of trauma-informed care, we would create an environment beneficial for the development of children and holistic recovery of adults,” he said.
* Name changed at interviewee’s request


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A landmark study has found that over 53 per cent of adults in the city have experienced at least one of 10 types of adverse childhood experiences. Photo: Getty Images

Counselling psychologist Max Lau has called for a shift from blame to understanding, so cycles of abuse may be broken. Photo: Karma Lo

Carrie Li, an assistant professor of social work at the University of Hong Kong, believes challenging long-held values is vital to help families heal from intergenerational trauma. Photo: Emily Hung

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Some professionals in Hong Kong are still struggling with the concept of child abuse, according to an NGO. Photo: Getty Images

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The newly implemented Mandatory Reporting of Child Abuse Ordinance requires professionals in social welfare, education and healthcare to report suspected serious abuse. Photo: Jelly Tse

Secretary for Labour and Welfare Chris Sun says the new ordinance marks a “milestone” in Hong Kong’s efforts to protect children. Photo: Dickson Lee

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The Mandatory Reporting of Child Abuse Ordinance is expected to come into effect in January 2026. Photo: Getty Images

In 2024-25, the NGO made 20 referrals to other organisations for suspected cases report to its hotline or via drop-in services at its centres. Photo: Getty Images

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Experts urge cultural change to end intergenerational violence as landmark study reveals childhood trauma still shapes parenting patterns


Experts urge cultural change to end intergenerational violence as landmark study reveals childhood trauma still shapes parenting patterns.


Breaking the cycle: Hong Kong parents wrestle with impact of their own abuse

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Experts urge cultural change to end intergenerational violence as landmark study reveals childhood trauma still shapes parenting patterns

Experts urge cultural change to end intergenerational violence as landmark study reveals childhood trauma still shapes parenting patterns