Why Netflix’s Mind Your Manners host Sara Jane Ho sees etiquette as utmost form of wellness
- Hong Kong expert in social customs says her strict mother taught her to ‘be the best you can be in anything and everything’
- Harvard graduate and founder of Chinese finishing school, Institute Sarita, says time alone ‘to reflect and remember who you are’ is important
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Etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho says good manners will help you achieve a balanced life
Making a good impression on people is something that we all want to do, but it often seems quite difficult to achieve and may even feel emotionally draining.
However, Sara Jane Ho, international etiquette expert and host of Netflix’s Emmy-nominated makeover reality television show, Mind Your Manners, is inspiring people to see things in a different light.
“People often think that etiquette is one big ‘don’t’: you can’t say what you think, you can’t do what you want to do,” she says. “But actually, I feel that etiquette is the utmost form of wellness because through etiquette you can be your best self in any situation.”
The Hongkonger, 38, teaches people how to not only use cutlery properly and sit upright, but also improve their life and build self-respect.
“When you have good etiquette, it can help you in every aspect of your life,” she says. “It can shape your confidence, it can improve your relationships. Etiquette is enabling. It lets you set the boundaries you want to set, and it lets you out of a lot of tricky situations so long as you know how to deliver it.”
She lives by her own teaching when it comes to setting boundaries. “I’m never afraid to say, ‘I’m not going to take a work call after 10pm, but I’ll take it as early as 5am because I go to bed early’,” she says. “I’m not afraid to tell my husband, ‘I need tonight for my own time to go get acupuncture and a massage’.”
Life is all about balance, Ho says. “For me, balance means balancing time alone and also time with people, because time alone is important on its own. You need to reflect, you need to have your alone time to remember who you are.”
Ho’s wide-ranging knowledge about cultural nuances is important in an increasingly globalised world where people often find themselves having to interact with people who observe different traditions.
She now splits her time between the United States and China while managing Institute Sarita – founded by her in Beijing in 2013 – which claims to be the country’s first finishing school.
Ho attributes her success to her strict mother, she says. “I grew up right here in Hong Kong, and I remember getting a mini-finishing school lesson from my mum, even from a young age. And she always pushed me.
“She was a perfectionist, so she pushed me to be the best I could in anything and everything that I did. And those lessons [are] really ingrained in me till this day – even from hosting, taking care of people, making sure nobody’s teacup is empty – and it’s part of her legacy what I’m doing today.”
The businesswoman also takes good care of her physical health and wellness. “I [take] traditional Chinese medicine on a weekly basis. I also exercise consistently,” she says. “I’m much more mindful of what I eat now, and … I’ve cut out alcohol except for rare occasions. It’s only when you are strong – physically, emotionally, spiritually – can you then support other people around you.”
