A guide to Chinese weddings in Hong Kong for the clueless guest – what to do, what not to do, and how to make sense of what is happening
Your first thought as a guest at a Chinese wedding may be, ‘What’s happening?’ or, ‘What does this mean?’ Don’t worry, all the answers are here
Hongkongers have a thing for complicated weddings riddled with symbolism and tradition. It’s a wonderful opportunity to become immersed in a multicultural society, but keeping track of what’s going on at a Chinese wedding can be a nightmare.
There are numerous steps before a couple ties the knot. For the bride and groom, the pre-wedding rituals are extensive and it doesn’t get easier on the wedding day itself. If you’re a guest, we can skip the nuances and focus on 1) giving you some context and 2) what you have to do.
Pre-wedding rituals
Betrothal ceremony
This is the official proposal, and the formal meeting between the couple’s parents before the wedding day. Guo Da Li is where the groom’s family offers the bride’s family gifts to make the betrothal official. During this event, the gifts that the groom present the bride’s family with include betrothal gift money, two pairs of Double Happiness candles (including two dragons and two phoenixes), cakes, fruits and jewellery for the bride.
The bride’s family returns the groom’s favours with their own gifts, including a portion of the betrothal gift money back (usually half), a gift for the groom, fruits and cakes. They also gift the groom items to bring to the bridal chamber, where the bridal bed is set up, with each item symbolising a different pillar of marriage.
At the same time (or some time before), the couple’s families choose a wedding date. The ceremony must be held at an auspicious date and time. To ensure this, experts such as Buddhist monks and trusted fortune-tellers are consulted to pick a day that doesn’t clash with the four pillars of the bride and groom’s birth time. Once finalised, the official wedding invitations are then sent out to relatives and friends to announce the wedding, along with gifts that include Double Happiness Cakes and other foods.
Bridal bed
A woman of good fortune from the groom’s family (with a living husband, children and grandchildren) will prepare the bridal bed a few days before the wedding (at an auspicious date and time). The bed is covered with new red linen, a plate of dried longan, lotus seeds, red dates, persimmons, pomegranate leaves and two red packets. The significance of this ritual is to symbolise a long and healthy union.
