You should always be wary of camels named Janet. Brit adventurer and all-round jolly-nice-chap Ben Fogle can attest to that.
In Ben & James Vs The Arabian Desert (BBC Knowledge, Wednesday at 9.55pm) one such beast sinks her gnarly gnashers down to the bone of Fogle's right hand, apparently mistaking the fleshy appendage for the bunch of dates he was feeding her. It's a nasty wound and there is a high chance of infection, but Fogle can't afford to hold a grudge; Janet is his companion and support vehicle, and they are a mere 24 hours into an 18-day crossing of the Arabian Desert. It's not an ideal start to a 600km trek across the harsh terrain of the biggest sandpit in the world, but Fogle and Janet aren't alone in their quest to follow in the footsteps of explorer Sir Wilfred Thesiger, who, between 1946 and 1950, navigated the area several times, mapping large parts of the Oman mountain range. Accompanying Fogle on this expedition across the Empty Quarter are three other wilful camels and his grumpy best friend, Olympian James Cracknell.
Fogle and Cracknell are an odd couple; two very different characters united by a kindred spirit of adventure. They met in 2005, when Fogle was looking for a partner to help him row across the Atlantic, and was introduced to Cracknell, a gold-medal winning rower. The 50-day, 4,800km voyage, which included a near-death capsize, forged a strong friendship. Their differing physical attributes and mental attitudes were tested to the limit once again in 2008, when they teamed up for a 800km race to the South Pole. They managed to come through that ordeal still on speaking terms and began making plans for a third expedition.
Disaster struck in 2010, however, when Cracknell was hit by a truck while cycling. The doctors were amazed he had survived, let alone without a broken bone, but Cracknell had suffered a brain injury from which it would take three years to recover. As with many frontal lobe traumas, the damage exaggerated his characteristics and Cracknell became more introverted, putting great strain on his marriage and family and ostracising him from friends. In late 2012, Cracknell was ready to prove to himself and everyone else that he was back and fighting fit, and ready to take on his third challenge with Fogle. It would not only be a physical and emotional battle, but also a chance for them to rekindle a friendship.
Unlike Thesiger, the first Westerner to complete the trek, the tousled-haired duo are attempting to navigate the perilous sand dunes and immense heat without local guides, relying on only a few primitive maps and vague directions from their Bedouin mentor, Mussallem. It's not long before team morale plummets under the strain. Cracknell curses his camel, Fogle struggles to get to grips with his old friend's mood swings and the simmering tensions inevitably come to a head. Will their bromance survive the journey? Will Fogle finally snap and feed Cracknell limb by limb to Janet? You'll have to tune in to find out.
From a moody James to a Hank Moody, as the unapologetic hedonist returns in the seventh and raunchy final season of Californication (FX, Tuesday at 10pm). Although I applaud our "hero's" black-humoured and warm-hearted debauchery, it's hard to deny the show has drunk the bottle dry over the past couple of seasons. That's not to say Hank (David Duchovny; The X-Files) and his screwed-up narcissistic cohorts haven't had their moments of late (Australian comedian Tim Minchin; Maggie Grace, Lost; and rapper RZA have delivered their fair share of fun and games) but the on-again, off-again relationship between our loveable rogue and his first love, Karen (Natascha McElhone, The Truman Show; above with Duchovny), has seen better days, which only goes to make this final farewell all the more poignant.