What is your ‘inner child’, why it can cause adults problems and how to begin healing

Jenny says unmet childhood emotional needs caused her burnout as an adult, while a clinical psychologist explains how to heal old wounds

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Trauma experienced in childhood, or parents’ trauma that affected their behaviour towards their children, may leave an adult’s “inner child” with unmet emotional needs, for which healing is vital. Photo: Shutterstock

Published: 11:15am, 6 Jul 2024

Jenny (not her real name) faced burnout in a string of communication manager roles. She sought the help of a trauma-informed therapist after seeing Instagram posts on “inner child”.

“The idea of there being this little me inside the adult me really resonated. I don’t think I’d have gone for straight talk therapy, but inner child was something I felt I could work with,” Jenny says.

The inner child refers to the child we once were. Hashtags like #innerchild and #innerchildhealing abound on social media – there are more than 1.7 million #innerchild posts on Instagram alone.

Early experiences and relationships with parents and carers can profoundly affect our emotional and psychological well-being as adults.

“Often, the inner child didn’t experience secure attachment,” says Hong Kong-based clinical psychologist Dr Julia Andre, referring to the bond that grows when a carer is emotionally present, responsive and available, giving the child what they need when they need it.

Clinical psychologist Dr Julia Andre says adults often do not know what to say to their inner child because they never had a good role model. Photo: Dr Julia Andre

In therapy, Jenny recognised that her childhood emotional needs had gone unmet. Yet, like many others, she grappled with understanding what those needs truly entailed.