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Is your inner voice too loud and negative? How to harness your internal monologue to improve your happiness and health

  • Experts suggest techniques to combat intrusive thoughts, such as talking to yourself by name or imagining what you would say to a friend with the same issue
  • Another technique for coping with negative introspection is to acknowledge it but then let it go. That way you rob the unhelpful thought of its power

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Experts describe the ways that incessant voice in our heads can help or hurt us – and how to make it stop when needed. Photo: Shutterstock

Most of us have a voice in our heads that speaks to us when we introspect. It allows us to imagine, remember and reflect, then problem solve, innovate and create.

In times of distress, this voice can cause more harm than good, turning our capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing. This “chatter” manifests as a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions which can lead to feelings of helplessness, anxiety and frustration. They can adversely impact our health, work and relationships.

The flip side is that changing the conversations we have with ourselves has the potential to change our lives for the better.

American psychologist Ethan Kross has been studying conversations that people have with themselves for more than 20 years. He has discovered we can change what we say to ourselves, to harness this voice and make ourselves happier, healthier and more productive.

Ethan Kross is a professor at the University of Michigan’s psychology department. Photo: courtesy of Ethan Kross
Ethan Kross is a professor at the University of Michigan’s psychology department. Photo: courtesy of Ethan Kross

Kross, a professor at the University of Michigan’s psychology department and its Ross School of Business and the director of the Emotion and Self Control Laboratory, shares his findings in his book Chatter, The Voice In Our Head and How to Harness It.

The key to beating chatter is not to stop talking to yourself, Kross says, but to figure out how to do so more effectively. “We need the periodic pain of our internal conversations. The challenge isn’t to avoid negative states altogether – it’s to not let them consume you.”

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