How to boost your sex life during coronavirus, from trying new positions to sexting and watching porn together
- Just when we need it most, we’re having less sex than normal thanks to the pandemic, new research finds
- Sex toys and tech are not necessarily the answer, despite a boom in sales
Are you getting any? I’m talking sex and I ask because love in the time of Covid-19 appears to be less ramped up than we might at first have imagined. Despite the whispered speculations about baby booms when we went into lockdown, it turns out we’re all getting less.
This decline in sexual activity, identified by a team at the Kinsey Institute in the US state of Indiana, has been attributed to two things. Singles and partners who live apart are separated by lockdowns and social distancing. Those who live together endure boredom and stress from being cooped up together for months on end wearing pyjamas and watching endless Netflix on separate screens. Neither the frustrated aloneness nor the forced togetherness present as aphrodisiacs.
The Kinsey researchers conducted a study of more than 1,500 participants to examine the pandemic’s impact on people’s intimate lives. “What we found is that different people have been impacted in different ways,” says Justin Lehmiller, one of the study’s authors. “The overall trend has been toward declines in people’s sexual and romantic lives. On average, people are less sexually active now than they were before.”
Many participants – almost half – reported a decline in the quality and frequency of their sex life, with the remainder reporting that it had stayed the same. A small number had seen an improvement.
One in five participants reported expanding their sexual repertoire with new additions which included “sexting” (useful for the socially distant), trying new positions, sharing fantasies, watching pornography and enjoying cybersex. Perhaps not surprisingly it was the young, single and physically separate who were up for new adventures. Those who added something new to the mix were, also not surprisingly, among those who reported improvements to their sex lives.
Some people use sex as a stress buster when anxious and stressed, but for most people stress has a negative effect on their sex life, says Kristin Zeising, a clinical psychologist at the MindnLife practice in Hong Kong.