Mouthing Off | I just want a plain old burger. Is that too much to ask? No one requested double patties, smash burgers or eggs sunny side up

In general, a messy burger with juices and sauces spilling out is a good thing – but Andrew Sun was unprepared to get one with a sunny-side-up egg in it

Let people do what they like with a burger in private – they can top it with whatever takes their fancy – but where have all the plain, simple hamburgers gone?

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A sunny-side-up egg, double patties, “smash”, peanut butter – burgers can get needlessly complicated. Andrew Sun mouths off about why it is so hard to get a plain, simple hamburger these days. Photo: Shutterstock

Published: 7:45am, 17 Jan 2024Updated: 3:34pm, 17 Jan 2024

Sometimes you just want a plain, simple hamburger. However, the arms race that chefs and restaurant marketing teams conjure often goes quite over the top.

We all know what a basic burger should be – a reliable beef patty between nice, pillowy buns. Toppings are where you can go posh or extravagant, from gourmet cheese to spicy mayo, bacon, pickles, tomato, mushroom and onion, and various other unconventional condiments.

At a diner recently, what I didn’t expect was to order a burger and have it arrive topped with a sunny-side up-egg. It was a funky little spot, geared to students and locals and with little food buzz, so my lunch expectations were quite tempered.

Clearly, I also didn’t read the menu very thoroughly.

In general, a messy burger with juices and sauces spilling out is a good thing. Most of the time, you want that. I just wasn’t prepared for sloppy yolk all over my face and hands.

Eventually, I resorted to a knife and fork because I was licking my paws more than the Labrador retriever in the corner.