The Naked Truth | The ex factor: should you and your partner talk about previous lovers? How to go about it without hurting each other
- Talking about previous relationships with your current partner can be a good reflection exercise or a minefield of insecurity and bad feelings
- Relationship expert Nathalie Sommer gives some tips for negotiating this tricky subject
Sometimes what we do with our partner might trigger memories that remind us of a previous relationship. It could be totally innocuous or it could be because we miss a past love; but we probably choose to keep it to ourselves.
But what if you are on the receiving end, and your significant other is sharing their memories about their ex with you, and they have done it one too many times?
Those who are secure in their relationship will know their partner’s recollections have nothing to do with the present. But many couples choose not to openly share memories of past relationships because if they happen to be pleasant feelings, they may cause insecurity.
Even if someone decides to bring up unpleasant memories, it is no better to vent those feelings as it makes the complaining partner appear spiteful.
Trust and transparency are the key to every healthy relationship, and those who are lucky enough to be in a strong relationship don’t take issue with discussions about past partners.