The Naked Truth | Forget a ‘perfect’ partner and fantasy love. You have to be realistic
- Luisa Tam says that we are constantly under the spell of a shallow modern culture that tries to program us into believing in a fantasy version of love
- To avoid hurt and disappointment we must avoid looking for our ‘Prince Charming’ or ‘The One’ – but that doesn’t mean settling for mediocrity
If you’ve ever had a relationship that fell apart, your friends might have told you to adjust your expectations by being more realistic before moving on to find new love.
Telling you to have “realistic expectations” might not sound too sympathetic but it is probably the most honest, or even the best, advice to get.
It is natural to want to have a “perfect” relationship – or a close approximation to it – and no doubt some of these requirements are important when you are dating or at the beginning of a relationship.
But the danger is that sometimes this quest for perfection can confuse us into projecting unrealistic expectations onto our partner.
On the other hand, having realistic expectations does not mean you should settle for mediocrity. And it certainly does not mean you go for someone who is boring, uncaring or does not fulfil your most basic need: to make you happy.
