What ‘I love you’ means to couples in China, France, Japan and elsewhere and why it’s a word some rarely say
- In South Korea, it’s relatively rare for couples over 40 to say ‘I love you’
- Among educated city dwellers in Iran, the phrase can now mean ‘I am ready to sleep with you’
In English, “I love you” can have the power of a magic spell or an atomic bomb: the words can help solidify a bond or threaten to destroy it if they’re spoken too soon.
In the United States and elsewhere, courtship is increasingly casual, which makes heartfelt confessions of love more serious than ever.
But what if they’re expressed in two words (“te amo”) or just one (“ahibbik”)? It isn’t just a question of language – dating culture differs by geography and affects the meaning of those words.
Literary translators and dating experts explain what “I love you” means all over the world. Their answers show that although love is a universal value, the words we use to express it carry vastly different meanings.
Japan
Japanese does not have a direct analogue to “I love you”. The words that get defined as “love” in dictionaries and taught that way in language courses are closer to “like” (suki) and “affection” (ai). The phrase “ai shiteiru” means something close to “I love you” but it doesn’t function as a relationship milestone in Japanese. Most people probably hear it more often in movies than in real life. Instead of saying “I love you,” a Japanese person would be more inclined to use any number of context-driven expressions of devotion and support, like “Work sounds tough” or “I can tell how hard you’re trying” or “I support you”.
