In Chinese culture, food can bring people together – and it can drive them apart, as Uncle Roger controversy reminds us

The Chinese believe that if you want to get things done, it’s best to bring them to the dining table. Food opens all doors – but it can also close them, too
Comedian Uncle Roger landed himself in hot water for making a video with fellow vlogger Mike Chen – and then for deleting it and ‘sacrificing his morality’

Luisa Tam

Published: 11:00am, 16 Jan 2021

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Food plays a pivotal role in Chinese culture because of its ability to serve as a conduit for developing relationships, cementing business partnerships and bringing families together.

A meal is not merely a culinary event in our world. The occasion provides a platform for meaningful interaction, while the food serves as something of a sweetener to soothe the stomach – and sometimes difficult interactions with other dinner guests.

The Chinese believe if you want to get things done, it’s best to bring them to the dining table – preferably over dinner, because there is more time to work a crowd during a 10-course meal. That’s why you often hear Chinese people say: “Let’s eat and talk business at the same time” or, “There is nothing that can’t be resolved over some good food.”

There’s also an apt Cantonese saying that’s decidedly more visual but carries the same message: “A chicken drumstick can weaken anyone’s jaw”.

The Chinese believe if you want to get things done, it’s best to bring them to the dining table. Photo: Winson Wong

To the Chinese, food opens all doors – but it can also close some doors if not used in the right way. The more exquisite the food you offer, the more respect you are showing to your dinner guest. Conversely, you can imagine what a poorly crafted meal would say to an expectant dinner guest.

If you plan to impress someone at a business dinner, then make sure the costs of the different meals you treat them to matches their worth. Otherwise, if they find out there is a big price discrepancy, it could be detrimental to your business ventures.

‘It’s been crazy’: Malaysian comic on viral Uncle Roger video

It goes to show that dining is a common method for the Chinese to make friends, as well as to establish or enhance interpersonal relationships. Sometimes, inviting someone home for dinner could be seen as an extravagant gesture to show your fondness for a friend or your intention to expedite a newly formed friendship, relationship or business partnership.

Despite the advances in technology, meeting face-to-face over food is a far more effective way to communicate than using information technology. Nothing beats a hearty meal to facilitate emotional exchanges, and virtual interactions deprive us of the familiar sensory pleasures that a sumptuous meal provides.

Sharing a meal isn’t always a happy occasion, though, as some meals can boil over into fraught discussions. Whether it’s broaching sensitive political issues or touchy family issues, tensions can brew during a meal and unintentionally bring certain issues – and even rivalries – to the fore.

Different relatives might choose to make comparisons about incomes, the size of their properties, how their children are performing in school or what top universities they are attending, or how much their children are earning. And in the same breath, relatives may be quick to point out certain inadequacies in dinner guests; I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

This kind of family politics is even worse in big households where there are extended family members. In simple terms, the more people there are, the more conversational exchanges and conflicts there are over dinner.

Food can also be wielded as a political tool because, while it can bring people together, it can also divide people. A recent controversy involving online celebrity Uncle Roger is an apt example.

In a now-deleted video, Uncle Roger and Mike Chen comment on the “ugliest dumplings”. Photo: Hotpot.tv/Facebook

Uncle Roger, a comedic persona created by Malaysian comedian Nigel Ng, recently landed in hot water after Ng took down a video critiquing a dumpling-making video that he co-hosted with YouTuber Mike Chen, an ardent critic of China’s government.

Ng deleted the video after being roasted by fans in China for collaborating with Chen, and now he is being slammed by fans on the other side of the political spectrum for “sacrificing his morality”. You can’t win when you are so popular and prominent on social media because you it’s impossible to please everyone.

Everything is politicised in today’s world and there is no escaping it, so all we can do is tread carefully and be mindful of what we say to others. It might be wishful thinking on my part, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask to enjoy a meal for what it is, and nothing more.

I love food vlogger Mike Chen and so should you

I personally had an unpleasant experience of mixing politics and food, and the memory of it has left a bitter taste in my mouth. More than a year ago, I was forced to debate the pros and cons of the Hong Kong protests when I was having dinner with my relatives. And when I refused to take sides, I was told to leave the table halfway through my meal.

I love what Uncle Roger does, for he gives a voice to Chinese and Asian cultures. This incident has shown a lack of political savviness, but it shouldn’t detract from his status as an Asian icon. Politics aside, I think his latest dumpling review video was done to his usual comedic standards and it ought to be enjoyed for just that.

Honestly, I just want to eat dinner with my family and watch Uncle Roger’s videos in peace without souring the experience. What’s wrong with indulging in a little comic relief?

Luisa Tam is a Post correspondent who also hosts Cantonese-language video tutorials that are now part of Cathay Pacific’s in-flight entertainment programme