‘Little England’ may be in decline but not the English language

Whatever the pace of Britain’s decline as a global colonial power, there is one area where the sun still never sets on Britain’s hegemonic reach – the use of the English language.

English language is today the undisputed ruler of world languages, spoken by approximately 1.5 billion people across 110 countries. Only Spanish comes close, spoken as a mother tongue in just 20 countries, mostly in South America. English is the official language of 66 countries and the de facto main means of communication in many more. It is arguably Britain’s biggest and most significant export. And yet the paradox of becoming the world’s first global language is that it has taken on a life of its own: the UK does not own it any more.

Ironically, in the wake of the awful British referendum voting the UK out of the European Union, it may be the fact that the UK no longer owns it that saves English, even as little England slides further into global insignificance.

Among the EU’s 28 members, only one – the UK – names English as its official language. The Irish say their official language is Gaelic, and the Maltese say their official language is – you guessed – Maltese. This is even though officials in Brussels jest that the only people in Malta who are fluent in Maltese are the translators working in the EU. So in technical terms, the moment the UK leaves, English no longer exists as an EU official language. EU regulations (originally drafted in 1958 in French) will have to be changed if the status of English as one of the 24 official languages, and one of the three working languages (French and German are the others) is to be preserved.

There are some – mainly French – who are celebrating this setback to the hegemonic march of the English language. Robert Ménard, mayor of the southern French town of Béziers, is on record last week as saying that the English language no longer has any legitimacy in Brussels. But I have a sense that he is spitting in the wind. It is true that of the world’s 7,100 official languages, almost 1,500 are in trouble and 900 are dying – but English is not going to be one of them any time soon. When a Polish member of the EU meets a member from Slovenia, the only language they can share is English. So too with a Lithuanian sitting down for a coffee with an Italian. Whatever the regulations say, and no matter how keenly the sentimental French wish it, the reality is that English will remain alive and kicking for quite a long time to come.

While English language is likely to prevail, the kind of English that people use, and how “pidgenised” it becomes, is altogether another matter. Already circulating in the corridors of the European Commission is a bristling publication entitled “Misused English words and expressions in EU publications” which lists 100 words and expressions that have become Baudlerised by EU officials. So the word “actual” has come to mean “happening now” (i.e. “the meeting is actual”), rather than “real”; and the word “punctual” does not mean “on time”, but “occasional”.