Although these gatherings are by nature casual affairs, that doesn’t mean there isn’t an unwritten code of proper behaviour.

We asked food and entertaining insiders for their do’s and don’ts.

Do arrive with your dish ready to serve

Walk in with your chilled shrimp or hot chili ready to put on the table, without having to be heated or chilled. Hosts are usually busy, and squeezing another item into the oven may be annoying or even impossible.

“If I’m a guest at a potluck I try to steer clear of the kitchen area and bring things that are delicious at room temperature,” says Bocar, adding that salads are always welcome on calorie-laden tables. “If I’m doing brownies, I always cut them at my house and bring them ready to eat.”

There are plenty of great coolers and thermal bags that can keep your food cold or warm on the way to a potluck. And don’t forget to bring a cork mat or other heatproof pad, a container for leftovers, and serving utensils for your dish; your host or hostess may not have eight serving spoons.

Do be considerate of others’ dietary restrictions

It’s nice to bring a card with the name of your dish and possibly the recipe, marking clearly whether it is vegan or gluten-free or whatever. Posting a list of ingredients will save you from answering questions about your dish all night.

Don’t leave dirty dishes

It’s so much nicer to take home a clean platter than one caked with the remnants of lasagne. But Bocar doesn’t make a big deal about washing her dish; she usually just quietly takes it away.

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“Just give it a quick rinse and take it home to finish cleaning it,” she says, so you’re not crowding the kitchen.

Alternately, Deb Johns, chief creative officer of bag company Scout Bags, which also produces coolers and lunch bags, suggests having multiple guests get together at the end of a potluck to wash dishes as a team. Then everyone goes home with a clean plate and the host isn’t left with a dirty kitchen.

“It won’t take long, but everybody wins,” Johns says. Above all, don’t leave your dish there and rely on your host to scrub it and return it to you. That is really rude.

Do keep it classy

Remember you are bringing food for the party, not for yourself: don’t be a cheapskate and show up with two cupcakes. Other people need feeding.

For a potluck, especially if they don’t have much kitchen space, people will often buy ready-made food from a supermarket, and bring it to the party still in the plastic platter. But if someone is taking the time to host you, you should also make more of an effort.

If you can’t cook something yourself, at least rearrange the sandwiches on a nicer platter on top of some lettuce leaves. If you are going to party with a group of foodies at someone’s home, take a stab at making something at least semi-homemade – buy the foundations at the supermarket and jazz it up – and arrange it on a nice serving dish.

Ask your host in advance how many people are coming, then bring a little more. The worst thing is to run out of food, Johns says.

Do communicate your plans in advance

Hosts should indicate clearly what dishes they are making and what else they need and for how many. “If you’re a guest, contact the host immediately and find out if there is an online sign-up list. Sign up right away,” says Jessica Hylton Leckie, who writes the blog Jessica in the Kitchen.

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It’s considerate so the host can plan out the evening.

Don’t pig out

You may love the creamy mac and cheese, but don’t keep going back and taking more before others have had a chance to dig in.

“It’s rude to corner an entire dish for yourself,” Leckie says. “Don’t show up at a party starving; other people want to taste the food, too.”

Do acknowledge your host

Even if many people are contributing to the gathering, Johns says it’s important to bring the host something special. “Don’t just show up with your food item. They have done a lot of work to make the event happen,” Johns says.

She also says its polite to give them the right of first refusal on the leftover cheesecake before you take your cake tin home.