Chinese immigrants find Australian small talk too awkward

Are language skills alone enough to ensure overseas Chinese fit well into their new home? The answer is no, according to a study of the social experience of recent Chinese immigrants in Australia, which found that their biggest barrier to communication is not language or knowledge, but the ability to make small talk.

The experience of 25-year-old Fei - a financial adviser who has lived in Melbourne for seven years, speaks fluent English and considers himself outgoing - is typical. Every time the company holds a social function, he's reluctant to join, he says. "Australians can walk into a party where they know no one and straight away they are able to talk with anyone, but we Chinese tend to hang on to one person, usually also Chinese or Asian, and stick to that person throughout. It feels awkward," he says.

And for 30-year-old Bai, who is married to an Australian husband and works in the chemical industry, even responding to "how are you" throughout the day proves stressful.

As anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski pointed out, small talk allows people to show friendliness, bond, and maintain a good relationship with others. Effective small talk in the workplace may even open up career opportunities. Yet why do these young and competent Chinese professionals find themselves lost in these situations?

The fact is, for many Chinese professionals, engaging in small talk is a new social experience. They lack ready-to-use responses to deal with fast-paced social exchanges, and struggle to get the timing, content, placing and tone "right".

This has to do with the pattern of Chinese interpersonal relationships. As anthropologist Fei Xiaotong vividly described, these relationships can be compared to concentric circles of ripples widening outward from a stone thrown into the water. There are distinct degrees of intimacy across our relationships, ranging from the closest familial, to the furthest stranger. Within the close circle, disclosure can be intimate, frank and critical. Beyond that circle, only formal interaction as required by work and basic courtesies are normally exchanged.